Fear (of losing my best friend)

although people say fear its something that comes on strong and its just part of life....well maybe they're right but just a few nights ago i was on the Virge of losing both my godmother who cares about me dearly and my best friend all because i was trying to get her to tell me why she was mad at me i thought i knew why but i wasn't sure but i told her how i felt and i guess it just wasnt the right thing her very last words to me were ashley back off but if i offended her in anyway im really and i hate myself for doing this and im sorry i cant be like other teens these days and i dont have the proper behavior for 15 and ill admit i do have issues and trouble making and keeping my friends but im not letting this friendship go down the even if you decide never to talk me again for the rest of my teenage life or ever again but i will continue trying and trying to make everyones behavior requirements although you dont have many rules to follow and theyre not that hard to follow either but im sorry i just really upset when i make someone mad and dont how or why it just makes me feel as if they dont care to tell me because im just gonna do it again but i dont have many friends and i feel as if everyone avoids mebecause im some im some kind of freeko or something but sometimes i wish i could just kill myself but i dont because i know there are very few people in my life who care about me but there might not be alot but at least they still care......