my life...

today i realized...my life fucking sucks im depressed my mom is a bitch and people are like forget about you who cares i dont wanna see you your obsessed blah blah after the day i had i just wish you were there to give me a hug but no thats like so not possible when i needed you you werent there

so...

theres this boy his name is davidd and omg he is amzing he asked me out today(well sorta he did it the weirdest way he asked me if i like him and i do and he likes mehand in my mothers truck he sat in the back and was poking me and just grabbed my hand and we made plans to hang out today after school and he was holding my hand and we were cuddling and he was stroking my face and in like a moment he kissed me i think he is just the most amazing person in my life he likes me for who i am and he is a christian too and he is my age 17 well a yr older

today i realized....i dont have a life people love me even if i am ridiculous at times at the most important thing is i have a talent to sing and act(if you know me youd understand)...

omg

okay so idk who follows this blog i dont think anyone does really so... im pregnant my parents through me out im in a hellhole of a motel i call my home (venting here...) i was sent to the school pysch because of my poetry my childhood sucked ass people suck (besides stefani and jenn and jay omg i love jayyy lmao well its 330 the library is closing so ima go muchachos byeas

omggggg oprahs joining facebook omgg congrats oprah *cough* who cares *cough*

ughhhh school then dramidia the homeeee (ughh i have no life)(to lizzie: poof now your magically ungrounded :)

ok so last night was loads of fun awkward BUT loads of fun omg i wouldnt shut up about PDA then my friend whispered to my best that they need to find me a boyfriend i had one but its not my fault it turned out he was a total manwhoreeee but its like omg i need a life i need to go find a person ;) who is not pushy or anything but perfect in their own little way so like where did my life go i had one when i was like 5 but then it just disapeared omg this is driving friekin nuts idk idk idk.............ughhhhhhhhhhhhh :) omg its a squirellll oh and SCHOOL NEWSPAPERV (HAHAHA FUNNIE)

to someone whom i trusted

I trusted the both of you HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!! SITTING IN THAT MEETING YESTERDAY WAS LIKE SITTING IN HELL I BACKED YOU UP AND TO FIND OUT THE STUFF THAT WAS GOING ON THAT YOU DID JUST WOWI FELT DUMBFOUNDED AND YOU I TRUSTED YOU TOO AND NOW BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE TO DO THE TECH BOOTH BY MYSELF AND YOUR HANGING WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS KICKED OUT OF A CHURCH FOR STEALING YEPP SO GUESS WHAT YOU CAN BE ARRESTED AND TO THINK I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU......I HATE BOTH OF YOU AND HOPE YOU WHO I THOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND....I DONT WANNA SAY THIS......BUT BUT.....I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!!!!-ASHLYNN JESSICA ELIZABETH MARIE ROSE SAID THIS YEPP THE GOODY TWO SHOES CHRISTIAN......AND YOU #1 BFF WHOM IS NOT NEMORE JUST LIKE I SAID GO DIE...AND GO JUMP IN A DITCH.......I TREATED YOU LIKE MY SISTER.....AND TO THINK I SAID I LOVE YOU...........AND TO NOW KNOW YOU NEVER MEANT NETHING YOU SAID NO WONDER YOUR FAMILY ABANDONED YOU(HAHA) YOU DONT CARE YOU KNOW WHYY HE BRAINED WASHED YOU THATS WHYY AND THATS WHY U LIKED JASON B/C HE WAS A CRIMINAL IF HE DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE HE WOULDNT OF CHANGED THE PASSWORDS FOR THE COMPUTER...AND TELL BRI I SAID BYEEEE-WE WERE GOOD FRIENDS..OH AND PS. THEY SAID THAT YOUR GONNA START PAYING RENT AND THAT YOU CANT HAVE MORE THAN 5 PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE...HA SO U CANT START YOUR OWN LITTLE FAKE CHURCH WITH A BUNCH OF HIPACRITS..IF YOUD LIKE TO CLARIFY THIS CALL ME THE BOTH OF YOU IF YOUVE GOT THE GUTS.......!!!!!!!

today i realized....

MY LIFE IS A COLORFUL AND EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER BECAUSE I PISS SO MANY PEOPLE OFF ITS LIKE I WAS MEANT TO BE A LONER.... BECAUSE REALLY I HAVE NO BRAIN (WELL U CANT LIVE WITHOUT ONE SO MAYBE MINE IS CHOOSING NOT TO LET ME USE IT) EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD OF MINE EXPECTS ME TO BE THE PERFECT LITTLE CHRISTIAN GIRL WHOSE LIFE INVOLVES NO ONE BUT THE CHURCH AND GOD WELL LET ME SAY THIS "LIFE" OF MINE IS GOING NOT WHAT SOME SUPREME RULER OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS SAYS ITS GOING TO BE AND NOW EVERYONE THAT I USED TO KNOW AND STILL DO HATE ME BECAUSE IM THE I GO TO CHURCH AND NEVER MISS ONE EVENT TYPE OF GIRL THEY WANT ME TO BE AND ITS NO DISRESPECT TO GOD OR ANYTHING BUT IM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS FUCKING PAIN AND SUFFERING IVE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE GOD DOESNT HELP ME AT ALL SO WHY SHOULD I GO WORSHIP AND SERVE HIM BECAUSE HE ISNT DOING ANYTHING FOR ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!